SEX IN A CAB OR NOT PAYING YOUR CAB FARE.....WHICH ONE IS THE CRIME?

A couple in Orlando Park, Illinois is being accused of having sex in the back of a Chicago taxi. Not only that, they allegedly were too hard up to pay the cab driver their $83 fare. That's right! Apparently, Stephanie Herringer and Andrew Vukovich felt that their sex show was payment enough for their cab ride. 

According to the cab driver, he picked up Herringer and Vukovich on February 9 at around 3 a.m. and told them to get out of the cab after he saw them "performing intercourse" in the back of his cab. To be honest, I might have pulled over and watched until they were done. Then I would have asked for my fare and then kicked them out. I mean an $83 fare? Where the hell did they drive to? New York? 

The driver called police when the couple was unable to pay. Believe it or not, neither of them had a wallet with them. However, when the police arrived, Vukovich told them, they were near his home, and he would be able to get money there. According to the report, he returned with his mom's credit card and paid the fare allowing the cab driver to leave. WHAT A LOSER! Seriously? He had to go in and get mommy's credit card? 

According to police, both Vukovich and Herringer smelled like alcohol and their clothes were all over the taxi. Police believed that Herringer needed medical treatment "due to incoherent statements, inability to walk without assistance, constant change in emotion and pale appearance." Um, no. That just means she was wasted out of her mind and probably didn't even realize she had sex with Vukovich. At any rate, she really picked a winner in her drunken stooper. He was one classy guy! He bangs her in a cab that he couldn't even afford, then has his mom pay for it, and then the poor girl he screws can barely remember her name! This guy is class with a capital "C." I'm sure there's a line around the blog to go out with this clown!

IS 911 THE NEW ESCORT SERVICE?

I read this story this morning and am literally in tears. Don't worry, they aren't tears of sorrow. They are tears from laughing my ass off! Just a warning, you may have to stop reading this blog a few times because you will not believe what you're about to read. 

Anyway, this is Maria Montenez-Colon from Punta Gorda, Florida. She was recently arrested after calling 911 twice in one evening. Why did she call 911? Well, she called describing herself as "horny" and summoned a police officer to her home and tried to have sex with him, while pleading, "I haven't been penetrated in years!" I'll give you a second to catch your breath. 

Montenez-Colon was arrested on Friday for her misuse of 911. First, the officer drove to the 58-year-old's home in Punta Gorda after she reportedly told a dispatcher that she wanted her late husband's Corvette back after giving it to her son, but it appeared that she really wanted to satisfy her lust for a man in uniform. The officer said that Montenez-Colon was wasted when he arrived and immediately started making sexually suggestive comments such as "You are so sexy" and "Are you married?" But apparently, she saved the most lascivious comment for when he asked how he could help her. According to the report, she responded with, "You can f**k me."  I'll give you another second to breath. I mean, isn't this the same lady who killed Selena? 

Montenez-Colon allegedly grabbed the officer's...arm and tried to rub her hands across his chest so he told her that her behavior was inappropriate. She replied, "I'm a bad girl, I know." I'm still laughing as I write this. Before leaving the officer gave Montenez-Colon his business card and advised her to call the police department through a non-emergency line for non-emergencies. Disregarding his advice, Montenez-Colon dialed 911 once again to say the last officer they sent "pissed her off" and asked to see another. 

The original officer that she wanted to bang returned with a second officer. She must've thought she was about to have a threesome! Anyway, she explained that she called 911 again because their first encounter infuriated her. She told the second officer, "He was a perfect gentleman, but I asked him to f**k me, he turned me down so that made me angry." The original officer asked Montenez-Colon if she remembered their conversation about not using 911 in non-emergency situations. She allegedly answered, "I do, but how else am I going to get you to f**k me?" This lady is too much! She was arrested, handcuffed and booked at Charlotte County Jail. I swear that this might be the funniest story that I've heard in a while. I do have to ask, though; Would the circumstances been different if the woman a hot, fitness model-type? Would the officer have obliged her request? Just a thought. 

NO COW TIPPING HERE!

Originally, I was going to write about the California teacher who molested two of her junior high school students and then sent them provocative photos of herself via text message, but I changed my mind because I am sick and tired of writing about these dumb little boys who cry about being molested by a hot female teacher. I mean, I can understand if it was a male teacher, but you were molested by a female teacher! WHY ARE YOU COMPLAINING? IDIOTS! 

So, instead of writing about those two morons, I've chosen to write about these two morons. The guy on the left is 31-year-old Reid Fontaine and the guy on the right is 35-year-old Michael Jones. Both men, from Upstate New York, were recently caught making sick animal porn movies with a herd of cows! Yes, I said cows! As in "moooo!" Now, isn't that better than a couple of pussy boys crying about being touched by their hot female teacher? Anyway, Jones allegedly did the banging with these bovine beasts in Herkimer County while his best friend, Fontaine, filmed every sordid encounter. The two, however, were busted when a farmer became suspicious that something was wrong with his cows since they were not producing as much milk as usual. He originally thought someone might be coming in and stealing the milk from his cows, so he set up surveillance cameras and soon discovered Fontaine and Jones were getting it on with his cows. 

The farmer, who has not been identified, called the police immediately and they launched their own investigation. Jones and Fontaine were arrested for misdemeanor sexual misconduct. Um, what about cruelty to animals and trespassing? Sounds to me that these dolts were getting away with murder! They were released on an appearance ticket. So, if you molest junior high school boys who tell on you, you get arrested with possible prison time, but if you molest a bunch of cows, you get an appearance ticket? What the hell is this world coming to? And why would anyone find cows attractive at all? Am I the only one here who might be a little bit curious to see some of the video footage? I mean, I am curious to see how this guy was able to have intercourse with a cow. I mean what goes into cow pornography? Is anyone else curious? I mean, I'm not saying, I'm dying to see it to get off. I'm just a little curious...Okay, I'll shut up now. 

IS THIS WHAT HAPPENS IN PINEY LAND?

I have to admit something that I'm not sure that I've ever admitted in this blog before. I'm officially a "Piney"! What is that? It's a nickname for people who live in the Pine Barrens region of Southern New Jersey. Apparently, I've been a Piney for the past four years new since moving down to this region. Here's the problem, though I'm from the Northern region and am technically a New Yorker, we don't seem to fit with the lifestyle down here. I'll give you an example. A teacher down here recently found two 5-year-olds naked and having sex in the bathroom. WHAT? And now she might lose her job over it!

That's right! The rural South Jersey school district of Mullica Township seeks to remove kindergarten school teacher Kelly Mascio after two 5-year-old students, a boy and a girl, were found naked in the bathroom of her classroom on September 30. The two younger students told the teacher they were "having sex." Okay, what 5-year-old speaks like that and how is this any fault of Mascio's except that the kids were under her supervision? Shouldn't their parents be the ones to blame for teaching them about sex at the age of 5? I am telling you, these Pineys get married early, probably have sex at age 5 or 6, and are divorced by the age of 12. By the time they're 20, they've been married three times. Elizabeth Taylor could have been a Piney! Almost every person we're friends with down here has been married at least once. I'm still on my first, thank God! I'm telling you it's a different culture here.

Anyway, Mascio, a teacher in the district for 15 years, actually reported the incident to her supervisor and police were called immediately. The teacher was then suspended with pay and no criminal charges filed. Wait a minute! How is this her fault if the kids sneaked into the bathroom to do this? She reported the incident. How can she lose her job? And why would criminal charges even be brought up. It's not like she put them in the bathroom naked. The Mullica Township Board of Education voted Wednesday to bring charges against the educator through the state to seek to remove her from her position. I still don't understand why?

Luckily the Mascio has a lot of support in the community as 200 people showed up to support her at the meeting. President of the Mullica Township Education Association, Babrbara Rheault stated, "Our main concern is that the administration has completely forgone all traditional disciplinary avenues available in handling the incident. The administration has selected a disciplinary route that resulted in enormous emotional and professional turmoil and has strained the confidence and trust of school staff, parents and community members." The Mullica school board did not state why Mascio was placed on leave or why they are moving forward with the possible termination. The only way that I can see Mascio being terminated is if she stripped the kids herself and told them they had to have sex in the bathroom, but if that were the case, why would she report the incident? It makes no sense whatsoever, which leads me to believe that once again am witnessing a South Jersey organization overreact to something when they don't have their facts together. Being a Piney is now what it's cracked up to be. Is it cracked up to be anything at all? 

SHE'S ALLOWED TO DO THAT?

I saw this story yesterday on a friend's Facebook page and couldn't believe what I was reading! Now, I'm not sure how old the article was, but regardless, this happened. So, this Brazilian woman, Ana Catarian Bezerra, won the right to masturbate and watch pornography in the workplace. See? Does the time of the article really matter now? She can masturbate and watch porn at work! What the hell?

Apparently, the 36-year-old accountant suffers from a chemical imbalance that triggers anxiety and hyper-sexuality. She is said to need to masturbate for at least fifteen minutes every two hours. Holy smokes! I think I might suffer from this chemical imbalance as well! My question is if her male workers see her doing this, won't that lead to them masturbating also? Does she do this in a private office with no windows? Better yet, why can't she just grab a willing and single co-worker to knock boots with? I'm sure he won't be complaining that he needs to bang her for at least fifteen minutes every two hours. That's if he can even last fifteen minutes. 

The condition, which requires the person suffering from it to orgasm as a stress and anxiety reliever, caused Bezerra difficulty at work. At the peak of her condition, she had to masturbate up to 47 times a day. She says, "I got so bad, I would have to masturbate up to 47 times a day. That's when I asked for help, I knew it wasn't normal." Maybe not normal for women, but I know it might be normal for some guys.

Bezerra is now on a variety of tranquilizers, which has her masturbating down to around 18 times a day. Oh yeah, because that's pretty normal. The trial was a landmark trial, which saw her condition known as "compulsion orgasmic" and the need to orgasm recognized by law. In winning the case, the court ruled that Bezerra is allowed to masturbate at work, and is also allowed to watch porn on her office computer. Does she get some sort of card to allow her to do this? I mean what if she loses her job? How does she explain this to her new company? Actually, her new company may hire her on the spot, just so they can watch. I have a better idea; why doesn't she get a job in porn? That would be the best job for her. She can masturbate on camera or have a guy or girl help bring her to orgasm every two hours. It would be great! I think I just solved her condition and workplace environment in one blog!

PEE-ZZA HUT

This is just another example of "what the hell are they thinking?" When I saw this story, I immediately thought that this needs to be in my blog! So, apparently, the regional manager for six West Virginia Pizza Hut franchises has been fired from his job after surveillance video footage captured him peeing in the sink of a food prep area of one of the restaurants. That's right! He was urinating right in the sink where food is prepared. Still want to eat at a Pizza Hut? Or shall I say Pee-zza Hut?

The urination came after business hours, but that doesn't make this any less disgusting. The popular pizza chain said it was "embarrassed by the actions of this individual" at the restaurant in Kermit, West Virginia, which is 85 miles southwest of Charleston. The video, dated January 29, shows the unnamed manager on a computer before walking over to the metal sink, unzipping his fly and letting loose. Once he finishes, the man turns on the faucet, not to wash his hands, but to "flush" the urine down the sink. The company only learned of this video on Tuesday and quickly canned the "pee-brained" regional manager, who reportedly managed 5 other West Virginia Pizza Hut locations. 

The Kermit location was shut down by local health officials. The company sent out a statement saying, "Pizza Hut has zero tolerance for violations of our operating standards, and the local owner of the restaurant took immediate action and terminated the employee involved. While the isolated incident occurred during non-business hours and did not involve any food tampering, we follow strict safety and handling procedures and the restaurant has since been closed. We apologize for our customers of Kermit, West Virginia and those in our system who have been let down by this situation." 

This is just the latest in the fast food world. A Burger King employee was fired after he was photographed lying on a bag of buns, while a Taco Bell employee was fired for licking a stack of taco shells and a Wendy's employee was let got for eating ice cream out of the dispenser. These fast food employees have a lot of time on their hands. You see it every time you go into one. They're usually slacking off or something. Yet, they feel that they deserve to earn more than minimum wage. Does any of this make sense to anyone? Once again, I ask, "What the hell is wrong with people?"

Check out the video footage below:

RACIST PRICKS

In this day, you would think racism was a thing of the past with many communities being so diverse in ethnicities. Especially in a state like New Jersey, which is like a melting pot of different races. That's why when photos like this become public it makes you sick that racism is still alive and well. Can someone please tell these kids that the North won the war back in 1865? 

Anyway, just hours after this New Jersey high school wrestling team took the state title, this disturbing photo emerged that appeared so show the boys posing with a black dummy hanging by its neck. The seven boys, dressed in maroon and white Phillipsburg High School colors, were shown in various poses as a dummy hung from the ceiling. Two of the boys wore pointed hoods that were reminiscent of Ku Klux Klan members. In a morbid kind of a caricature, the dummy appears to wear a wrestling shirt of the team's competitor, Paulsboro High School, which is located just outside of Philadelphia. Is it possible that the photo was taken out of context? Maybe, but why did the two kids next to the hanging dummy feel the need to put their hoods up? 

According to the 2010 Census, 7.5 percent of the residents in Phillipsburg, which is located northeast of Allentown, PA, are black as opposed to the 36 percent of Paulsboro's residents. Phillipsburg's Superintendent had little to say about the photo only that it was under review. He says, "The incident reported is a matter dealing with minors. An investigation was undertaken and upon conclusion of the investigation, actions were taken by the district consistent with its policies." When you think about the photo had to be taken by somebody. Where was the coach? Was the coach the photographer? When the coach was asked about the photo, he declined to comment, but he did call the photo a "private student matter that's currently under investigation." It sounds like someone might feel guilty here. I mean these are kids and yes, they do have a mind of their own, but isn't the coach in the locker room with these kids? I'm sure he didn't deter these kids from behaving in this fashion and that's a problem. I think the coach is just as much to blame as the kids on this team. What do you think?

PARENTS OF THE YEAR

Meet the "Parents of the Year"! This Long Island couple left their four kids at home with an empty fridge and no heat for nearly a full week while they stayed in a hotel to work on their marital issues. Like I said, "Parents of the Year" right here! 

Tulio and Maria Ayala were busted on Wednesday after school officials in Central Islip called police to say the children, ages 4 through 15, were living at home without any adult supervision. According to police, the Ayalas took off on February 7. There was barely any food in the house and the children were using small space heaters and the kitchen stove to stay warm in those freezing temperatures last week.

The Ayalas were charged with four counts of child endangerment and released the next day. Tulio Ayala said that his mother was supposed to be looking after the children. He says, "We were having marital problems, and so I told my mom, 'I'll be back in a few days, can you watch them?' And you know, she said she was fine with it. I left them with money in my house, and she lives in the basement and everything, so they were NOT unattended." Ayala said he left his mom with $100, food stamps and space heaters. At some point, his mother backed out of the deal. Oh, how convenient! A mother who actually lives in the basement and promises to watch his kids suddenly disappears with his money  and food stamps. Now, we see where he gets it from. He's cut from the same cloth as his mother. 

He says, "She never called or attempted to text me, and said look, 'I don't want to watch them.'" Maybe that's because his mother no longer exists? Just a thought. The good news is that the kids were unharmed and turned over to an unidentified family member. Not for nothing, but if you have four kids, even if your mom agreed to watch them, you don't just go off and leave the kids at home to fix your marriage. Fix that stuff at home! What the hell is going to a hotel for week going to do? Repair your problems? Hell no! It puts it on hold for a week. What a mess this family is! I feel really bad for these kids most of all. 

WHAT IS IN THE WATER IN ARIZONA?

Only yesterday, I wrote about a woman who went nuts because her boyfriend would not have sex with her. She was then found naked and bloody walking the streets of Glendale, Arizona with her baby in her arms. Well, we go back to Arizona for another naked woman story! With all of this nudity in Arizona, it might be time to move there!

Anyway, this is 34-year-old, Keri Gonzalez from Marana, AZ. According to police, she jumped out of a 15-year-old boy's second-floor bedroom window after his mother found her in his room naked. Did you spit your breakfast out yet? That is absolutely hilarious! Gonzalez broke her ankle when she landed on the main level and limped her naked body on down the street away from the home San Tan Valley back on January 23.

It was about 2 a.m. that morning, when the boy's mother came to the room after hearing "knocking sounds by the stairs on the wall." When he opened the door for her, she reportedly saw a naked woman crouching down on the floor between the bed and the wall. The mother yelled at her to leave the house. Gonzalez got dressed and leaped from the window so the mother would not recognize her. 

The 15-year-old told the police that Gonzalez was a family acquaintance. She came over with some booze for them to share and they banged twice before his mother woke up and busted in on their little party. About a half hour later, Gonzalez supposedly blew any chance of getting away when she reappeared at the family's front door to let the mother know she broke her ankle before leaving again. What the hell? Why would you go back? Why? Some people are just plain stupid!

The next day police tracked down and questioned Gonzalez, who allegedly lied to the deputy about where she lived. She had a cast on her ankle already when police arrived. She was booked into Pinal County Jail for sexual misconduct with a minor and providing false information to a police officer. Here's my take on this; how dumb do you have to be, knowing full-well that you're having sex with a minor, to actually go to his house to actually have sex with him without the parent's finding out? Better yet, how did she sneak into the house? Why couldn't the boy sneak out of his house to have sex with Gonzalez at her apartment? It just seems so dumb that they would put themselves at risk to do the deed in the parent's house. Again, I ask, "What is in the water in Arizona?" 

HAVE SEX WITH ME OR I'LL GO NUTS!

You better make sure that you say "yes" when it comes to having sex with this piece of trash! This is 24-year-old Ashley Marie Prenovost from Glendale, Arizona. She recently went on a drunken naked and bloody rampage after her boyfriend refused to have sex with her. Hey, maybe he had a headache? This is the second story that I've seen where a woman got out of control because her man withheld sex. Why is that okay? If this was okay the other way around, there would be more domestic abuse cases in America, but the fact is it's not okay either way!

Prenovost allegedly picked up the couple's 4-month-old daughter and ran around their Glendale home screaming and yelling this past Monday. The infant reportedly suffered a head wound from hitting her head on a dresser. Prenovost is then accused of punching walls and cutting her hand by slamming it into a glass framed picture. Police were called immediately and allegedly found Prenovost entirely naked and heavily intoxicated with both hands covered in blood. Didn't anybody tell her that you're not supposed to mix Cymbalta with alcohol? Maybe she didn't take her meds that day, but it sounds like someone might have a depression problem. I know they say she was intoxicated, but even if you were this drunk, you wouldn't go this nuts. My guess is that there are more deep-rooted things going on here. 

Prenovost was arrested on suspicion of child and adult abuse, aggressive assault on a minor, endangerment, assault with the intent to injure, criminal damage and disorderly conduct. She appeared in court yesterday before being bailed out. I have to say that this behavior is unacceptable just because he said "No". Guys get told "No" all the time, especially when they're married. Then again, take a look at Ashley Marie. I bet you somewhere, there has to be a tattoo that says: "White Trash Mentality." Then this would all make sense. 

MOTHERLY INSTINCTS KICKED IN....WHAT?

This pup is adorable, right? Now, if he wasn't feeding, would you suggest breast feeding it? I know, right? Well, a Colorado mom saved this tiny black Lab's life by forcing it to breastfeed from her own chest. What a sicko! 

The woman, who has a 15-month-old child, allowed this adorable puppy to suckle from her bosom after he refused to take formula milk from a bottle. Incredibly, Tubbs, the little black Labrador, survived because of the breast milk. Yes, I am still shaking my head over here. 

The woman, who has not been named out of fear of backlash (smart move), took little Tubbs in after his own mother died. When he refused to ingest any formula or food, the woman said "something just clicked" and a "maternal instinct" took over. She said, " He wasn't moving, and I just did it. I didn't know what else to do. I was desperate, and I just couldn't bear sitting there watching him die." So, you just whip your boob out? I don't get how some people think. I mean, I guess this answers the age old question whether or not dogs can survive on human breast milk. Wait, was that even an age old question? If this woman got off on it, would it then be considered beastiality? I'm sorry. I just don't understand what would possess someone to think it was okay to let a dog drink your breast milk. I guess if you  were really desperate and since the dog was dying and all. Yes, that is sarcasm. 

She says, "I thought, 'Just put him on you and pray to God that he'll take something and not die.'" The woman is convinced that her quick-thinking saved little Tubbs' life. She also revealed that he has now been weaned off of drinking milk from the tap and taking formula. How do we know he wasn't faking it so he can lick her boobs? Just wondering. She says, "I've seen the results. That dog is alive because I took the initiative." One vet, however, warned of the dangers of women breastfeeding puppies. Wait! This is a common thing? The vet went on to say that there are things that can be passed from puppies to babies. Like worms maybe? 

What I would really like to know from all of my animal-lover friends, how many of you would go to this extent if you saw a puppy dying right in front of you? How many of you would actually whip your boob out and breastfeed it if you were lactating? This is pretty crazy. It might be one of the craziest things I've seen in a while. The weird thing is now I have a craving for milk. 

HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU FIRST HAD SEX?

Do any of us remember how old we were when we first got laid? Probably not because it was some time ago. Some remember it like it was yesterday. For me, it was yesterday. Anyway, what I'm getting at was did any of you look for consent from your parents when you first had sex? Hell no! You didn't because you felt that you were doing something dirty, right? And why would you tell your parents something like that anyway? 

Well, the parents of a 13-year-old German girl have been fined $4,000 for not stopping her from having sex with her boyfriend. That's right! A judge in Viechtach, Bavaria, punished the couple this past Monday for failing to ban their youngest teen from sleeping with her 16-year-old long-term boyfriend. I don't care what country you live in. Since when are parents liable for their kids having sex? My parents still think I haven't done it and they should think that I was still pure and full of goodness because I am their son. Apparently, the age of consent to have sex in Germany is 14. Do we even have an age of consent here in America? I feel like kids will be kids and when they're horny, they will experiment with each other like we did back in the day. I remember back when I was a teen, girls were whacking guys off or blowing them, and if you were lucky, you were already going all the way. There was no "age of consent." If you were horny, you did it!

The court heard that the girl talked with her parents about having sex with the boy, who she was with for six months after meeting at a party back in 2011. The parents reportedly tried to talk her out of it, but she could not be convinced. So, the mom took the daughter to a doctor so she could be prescribed the pill. At least they were responsible, but I still wouldn't have talked to my parents about it. Here's the worst part of the story; this case only came to light because the boyfriend appeared in court recently over a totally different matter. Yeah, this guy is definitely the guy that I want my daughter banging! What a loser!

Despite being fined, the parents will not receive a criminal record. Why should they? Personally, they should not have been fined either. Nor should they have known that their daughter was having sex. What do you guys think? Did the judge have it right to charge the parents a fine? Or do you agree that these kids should just be kids and leave their parents out of it?